Afraid.

To think all of these make me had a fuss. Berisik.
That's what I said to my self. I asked it to make a silence. I've been enough of it.

So much pointless things.

Hey. How's your life going? Alright, huh? Of course. You've got what you want. Easily. Effortless. Or at least, that's what I see down bellow here.

Just remind you, every time I come back here, write down some spilled word, all because I'm completely in a mess, or might be confuse, or might be got any interesting ideas. For now, let's just let the words tell you what's going on, huh? Let the words do the rest.

Let's start with me. I'm okay. That's what I said to the world. But deep down, I realize, there is something not okay inside. I've always been trying to put a smile on my face. Always. Whenever I felt bad, I try to put a smile. Always, hard in the beginning. But even easier when I've started used to it. Always, I made it. It's okay, I said to my self. And that's okay. I can count on my facial nerves whenever I need to switch my mood instantly.

But something is wrong when I am alone. There's a hole. An emptiness I couldn't describe. When I caught my self alone, the gloomy atmosphere begin coming approach. Like... Do I stand in a right place? Walk in a right direction? Do I have to turn over? Do I need to stop? Am I wrong?

Everything in front of me is just so uncertain. I could not even imagine what would happen tomorrow? Or the day after? Or the two day after? Or even more than years after? All just so much uncertain. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I can't survive. I'm afraid that I can't revived. I'm afraid for what might I have become. I'm afraid.

I tell the wind that I'm afraid.